I am about to call it quits and move on ( WAS)

[Queen_of_Swords]

Another journal entry.

I have been reading this forum and just get struck by the utter feeling of hopelessness and the inability to regain what was lost.

Is there really any point to trying to save a marriage when it disintegrates so often as what I see on these boards. Am I investing too much hope into a dream/wish? Can you build a bridge from one side as Michelle seems to think is possible? For as many success stories as their may be, how many fail? And if I win this fight, then what? Will I forever be pulling the weight in relationship? Do I sound confused, well I am.

Fact is I can't change anything but myself and what I do have control over. I can only continue on my own path to emotional health and maturity. That he chooses not to follow me on that path will ultimately be his loss ( mine and my kids', too but thats not in my hands).

When I first got back here to read new posts, I thought - that's it! I need to get divorce proceedings moving, write my WAS off as he has written me off, and find love, loyalty and respect elsewhere. If it wasn't for the fact we have children I would have gone completely dark long ago, he would have been dead to me and I would have behaved that way too.

They are what keep me trying.