May the force be with you young Ericmsant2.....

[ericmsant2]

B,

As peaceful as my post sounded and trust me everything I posted was truth in terms of what I have chosen in my life. The reality is that I am pretty angry and frustrated these past few weeks. The legal process is taking forever and as such she and I remain in the same home. I am emotionally drained and really need a break from all of this. The lies continue, her attempts to control everything continue, the button pushing continues, the manipulation continues – in some ways it has gotten worse.

I’m doing the best that I can but some days I feel like just walking out. Legally that is not the wises move. I have tried to contact my attny but with the holidays I have not heard back from her.

I have taken back the master bed room, which added some degree of peace but not enough. At this point she needs to leave as soon as possible.

Anger….and more anger is what I cycle through these days. Angry at myself and angry at the whole sitch. I know that this anger is normal and must be processed but it sure as hell is not easy. I continue to enjoy the kids but also have begun to realize that Eric too need his time.

I am constantly fighting within myself....the fight is about accepting my role in all of this and being pissed at myself for it and also pissed at her actions, speicifically as it relates to the children and the D proceedings.

Initially she agreed to a 50/50 split and agreed to have the kids come to my house on the weekdays that she worked so that I could do homework with them and make dinner for them. She agreed to this at the last meeting with the attnys.

She agreed that I would move back into the master bed room the morning of the day that I did.

She agree that we should talk to the kids about implementing the parenting plan that we agreed to at the last meeting.

Then, as you would have suspected (and stupid me…I still expected that she would be truthful and honest) she changed her mind.

Now, she claims that she did not “understand” what she agreed to regarding the 50/50 split of custody. She believe that on the days that she is working during the week that the kids should remain in her apt (whenever she moves) by themselves. We attempted to discuss this yesterday to no avail. BUT what the heck was I thinking. I had to remind myself (with some help) that right now this is about what SHE wants. My feelings/interest, the kids interest, no one interest matter but hers. I will not argue the change in her parenting plan. I will still have the kids ½ the time ASSUMING she does not change her mind tomorrow, which at this point would not shock me in the least.

Although she agreed that I would move back into the master bed room, that evening when she arrive home, she proceed to go to the master bedroom and lie down (I was downstairs with my D watching a movie). When I went upstairs, I reminded her of the agreement that we made. She actually looked at me and said “no I did not agree to that”, when I replayed the convo to her, her comment was “well I like the ways things are right now” to which I responded “I am sure that you do but I do not agree”, she then said “well I have now changed my mind and I want to stay in the master bed room”, to which I responded “I did not change my mind and only want you to honor your agreement – you are more than happy to remain in the bed but I would prefer that you not”. A stare down ensued followed by her stomping like a child out of the bed room. She went downstairs and my son witnessed her mini rant. I proceed to go downstairs and finish watching the movie with my D. Long story short, I am back in my bed and getting some much needed rest. She is now sleeping with my D in her bedroom.

Oh…it get’s better, yesterday I reminded her that she also agreed that we should sit down with the children to implement the parenting plan that we agreed on. She again changed her mind. I explained to her that it is in the children’s best interest to have a plan in place prior to her departure. Her response “I am still in the house so why change it”. I explained to her that it was less confusing for the kids and that from everything I read it was the best for them. She said it could wait. At that time my oldest son asked what was going on….Mary Ann agreed then that we should discuss the schedule with the kids. When I started to go over the calendar with the kids she started to question things like…well right now I am off on Wednesday so who will have the kids. I said to her that based on what we agreed to that I would have them on Wednesday but that I would be flexible until her schedule changed. It ended up turning into a very uncomfortable conversation because it was in this conversation that I found out she was not going to agree with her original plan of having the kids with me during the weekdays. I reminded her that this is what she agreed to and that it was written down on the same piece of paper that suggest that I would assume 90% of the debt (since she has said that I did not say this). Her response was that yes it is the debt that you incurred, my response it was debt incurred while you remained home or worked part time. The conversation was very uncomfortable and my final response to her was….going forward if you are going to continue to change what you say or agree to please communicate with me via email or via the attny.

So B, it has been one hel* of a few weeks for me. She is suddenly starting to come home at reasonable times, she is now trying to be involved with the kids a little more, which I think is good for them. The issue is really about control. She wants full control and I believe that the control regarding our children should be shared.

The kid who heard the whole conversation were clearly impacted by it. It is another reason why I believe it is best that she leave the home as soon as possible and that we begin to implement the parenting plan immediately.