Kissak
I’m sorry that you had a tough go yesterday. Everything that you are going through, the anger, the frustration, everything it is all part of the process.
I too am quite angry Kissak…actually I feel a tremendous amount of rage.
I suspect that the anger you feel although directed at your H is really anger that you have towards yourself. Maybe I am projecting a bit here, honestly I do not know. What I do know is this…
You have to just feel it and go through it. No short cuts for either of us Kissak.
Think back to what others have said to you….take the anger and use it not as a sword but as a shield.
I have also realized that….
Anger = not detached enough
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I werent all lovey dovey with him

Why would you be. He is f*cking someone else. Look you can be civil but that does not mean nice or lovey dovey.
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When he left, he texted me and said that he still cared.

He honestly in his mind probably does as fu*ked up as that sounds. You see in his mind this is over, in his heart right now this is over. It is not for YOU yet. Hence, your angry and he is not. Start to accept and realize that the M, his feelings, his lack of concern is really just who he is right now.
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then I felt the need to say that I knew he was messing around with this woman he is currently with and that made me like her even less, and he just said OK.

What does his response of “ok” tell you? Honestly…what does it tell you?
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I asked him why on earth would he ever be interested in a woman that would screw around with married men....ok, he didnt answer because I then said nevermind....I will never get the answers I want and I ended it saying he was an a$$ for doing all of this to me, and he AGREED.

Ah…..your still EXPECTING him to give you an honest answer. FTR, I still struggle with this one. For some reason it seems like both of us seem to think that all of a sudden they are going to begin to be honest. We both know better yet we still have this expectation. Yesterday a friend help me figure some of this out and help remind me of one thing….DB101 change how you look at thing or change what your expectations are. You see, my expectation are back to…1) they will lie, do not EXPECT the truth 2) they have already detached so expect NOTHING 3) expect the answer to be totally out of this world. Ya see if we keep our expectation in check we are apt not to get disappointed and frustrated.
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Just trying to work through some anger and resentment towards him. I felt it last night and had to let it out on him. Didnt really care about how it made him feel at that moment.

At least you let it out. Now what I guess I should tell you (pay attention to what YOU are writing Eric)…is that ya have to learn how to release that anger away from him. Not because you don’t want to hurt his feelings – no fuc* his feeling right now – you need to divert because DO YOU want to live YOUR life so pissed at him that everytime YOU see him YOU are upset?
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I want him to be hurt by her, I want him to hurt like I have.

1) Karma
2) What goes around comes around

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So why do I want him to be unhappy?

Maybe because you are not happy? Ya know they say misery loves company.

Kissak find those things that make you happy and go do them. Do them not to hurt him, not to make him jealous, do them because they make YOU happy.

God Bless,
Eric

"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans