My W and I have two vehicles, a small SUV, which can't accomodate the 4 kids, and a van that does. I have always said, whoever has the kids has the van in the event of an emergency, the van is necessary to transport. W doesn't like that arrangement, because she has to drive to my house and switch after her shift at work. She'd rather just drop the kids at 2pm and not be bothered until pickup at 7am. My guess is it cuts into her personal time.
So I go out to exchange vehicles today, and I told W to leave the van, since I had the kids and might take them somewhere. She got pissed as usually and handed me the baby like she's shoving a bag of groceries into my hands. Totally uncalled for. I just smiled at baby and hugged and kissed her. Talked and laughed at D3, who was telling me something. I kept my upbeat attitude and acted "As If"... I think I'm getting the hang of this. So I took kids inside and went out to move the van into the carport. I said have a good day to W, but got no response just the car door shutting.
Got another message on my answering machine indicating she scheduled another IC session, but I see no positive change yet. This last month the best "baby step" I've noticed was eye contact and maybe a have a good day. 95% of the time it's been no response with a GFY attitude from her.
I'm still GAL, planning a skiing trip next month... nearby. I miss that stuff and should be fun. Also plan on taking an actual trip outa state soon. I definitely deserve a vacation... ALONE! I must admit, focusing on me on occassion is quite nice, no worrying about accomodating someone else or merring their COUNTLESS needs. I still prefer married life / family life, but the freedom I have right now is great too.
blessed, let me know about the vacation alone. I tried it during my last separation, going to a bed and breakfast in the shenandoah valley, thought due to the beauty and peacefulness it would help. I was there for a week and my guess was it was too peaceful, had too much time and quiet to think about too much stuff. I may have probably been in a different frame of mine than you are as well. Good luck.
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
Good Point, there are times when I'm alone still... Not so good. Perhaps I'll go with a friend. I do have a buddy who moved out of state, could go see him. I feel pretty good right now, but then again someone is usually around... I'm rarely alone long. I think a trip right now, might be best with some adult company.
im catching up on all your threads, you said W got ticked when you removed her on FB, what did she do? Did she say something? I know my wife checks mine because she comments on all the stuff i do. I stay off of hers but a friend told me recently she doesnt have anything on hers. I was thinking about just removing the relationship status of married, i think there is a seperated on their now.....
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
She had deleted me several times, and would then apologize and add me again. I deleted her and have ignored her request to add her. The reason I deleted her was because, I found myself checking on her repeatedly. I felt it was the best option at the time, so I could really have a good shot at getting her out of my mind to REALLY move on. Seeing her photos was just killing me. Painful to wonder which guy was the OM, if any of them, all of them, who knew. I had to break away. Her Relationship Status actually has said Single for quite some time, though we have not had one divorce hearing yet. I did change my to separated recently.
So I must have missed something, it says in ur signature you filed, what lead you to do that and does your wife know, basically what's the status with that
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
I filed before I found this site, but she was planning to already. I filed mainly because she made no effort, was disrespecting me by being involved with other men, and also because it AGGRIVATED me (as petty as it may seem) that she would file divorce on me when she was the one who wronged me. Our first hearing next month... just recieved a letter indicating W is playing the "poor me" card and asking for court intervention because she is struggling financially to provide a household for our children. Just a complete joke!
Regarding my marriage or my life without her? My life without her, which I'm guessing is the most likely of the two... I plan to fight for what's fair IMO, which is keeping her from getting more that $400 per mo in support. After that we battle for the big $. As for my next move as it relates to saving this marriage... I really have no clue... Honestly I think it's over... So my next move is probably just move on and erase her memory from my head as beat I can to allow that to happen. Did I answer your question?
I still prefer married life / family life, but the freedom I have right now is great too.