Sweetheart, it's been six years. He still needs time to make a decision? Yes or no. In or out. If he wants this marriage he will do what he needs to do to stay in. Otherwise he is out.
Thing #1 that he needs to do is the no contact letter. Thing #2 is transparency -- you check his phone, his email accounts, etc. Why? Because trust hasn't worked. Trust has to be built all over again one day at a time. And I know you are trying to see a IC. That is good. You both should be talking to someone. And then you need professional help.
Marital counseling can help. I know Retrouvaille does help. I could not have reconciled with my husband without it. And we both learned from it how to stop being so self-centered and start doing things because we really do care about how the other person feels.
Maria has been through something very similar to your situation. I trust her advice in all of this.
I thought the point of his meeting with her to break up was the fact that he chose you.
I like Lotus' advice.
How would you feel about counseling? Would an intensive with Michele and the two of you be an option? I think it's expensive, but not nearly as expensive as divorce. (I don't get paid for saying that. I know Michele has a real clear head even in the midst of major emotion. And I know she can detect BS and help work through a lot of things.)
I don't usually suggest retrouvaille because it seems that most folks go into thinking this is their last shot, and if it doesn't work nothing will, and if only one partner is interested in saving the relationship, and the weekend didn't bring them closer, they feel their fate has been sealed. But it might end up being very helpful for you and lead you to someone who could help you heal over the long haul.
What are your thoughts?
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
