As miserable as I was living in the house with my W I wasn't about to move out. There came a point where I finally agreed to let W go, I agreed that things weren't working between us, and I agreed that we should proceed toward a D.
I looked at the sitation as if I was going to be D. At that time I stood up for everything I thought was right regardless of if my W was happy or not with it. I got a backbone and wasn't about to let my W walk all over me.
Now I will say that I had time on my side by taking this stance. The state I live in will not allow you to file for D until you have lived in a separate residence for 365 days.
How attractive would you find your W if you could walk all over her and she never stood up for what she thought was right?
M 33 | W 34 | Kids: S4, S3 M: 5/28/05 Bomb: 8/22/09 EA: 8/1/09 | PA 12/26/09 W L: 10/21/09 M L: 11/16/09 | 12/09 to file SA W & Boys Move Out: 3/14/10
I am supposed to drop off a check to my soon to be new roommate and get keys from her in 30 mins.
I will be living right around the corner from my house, I will pick my kids up every day from school. My wife will leave the house every other weekend so I can stay here with the kids.
I figured I am buying myself time since she was about to move things forward and in CO, the waiting period is only 90 days.
She agreed to slow things down for now. Isn't that positive? She wasn't going to move out. Ever. She wanted to buy the house from me.
M42 W38 D5D7 M8 Living as 'roomates' since 9-12-10 Moved out 1-7-11 FIL threatened to kill me 1-20-11
What I think is right is taking initiative in doing what I thought was the best chance for us to get back together. Now you are making me doubt my decision.
Walking all over me? A bit extreme I'd say.
M42 W38 D5D7 M8 Living as 'roomates' since 9-12-10 Moved out 1-7-11 FIL threatened to kill me 1-20-11
So lets get this straight. She wanted the house anyway. She wants a D. All you're essentially doing is giving her a D without it actually being on paper it seems.
Did you want the house? It sounds like she "slowed" things down when all she's doing is getting what she wants sooner.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Additionally I see that you have children. Have you talked with a L to see how it would look if you moved out? I am only asking because I want to ensure you are protecting yourself. In my state both my L and W's L insisted that neither of us move out of the house without a move out agreement. It might have been overkill but it was so that the person moving out couldn't be gone after for abandonment.
Yes, walking all over was probably extreme but you got the idea.
M 33 | W 34 | Kids: S4, S3 M: 5/28/05 Bomb: 8/22/09 EA: 8/1/09 | PA 12/26/09 W L: 10/21/09 M L: 11/16/09 | 12/09 to file SA W & Boys Move Out: 3/14/10
Wish I could have a conversation with you both. Bottom line, I have no way of buying her out. I see your point Mr B, but this is the only way to buy myself some time. Ultimately, it may not matter either way.
M42 W38 D5D7 M8 Living as 'roomates' since 9-12-10 Moved out 1-7-11 FIL threatened to kill me 1-20-11
I guess I'm just trying to see how this could benefit YOU. Right now I don't see any positives to moving out. Especially when she's going to be seeing you less.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
If I stay, she starts the divorce. If I go, she doesn't. I buy myself time to turn thnigs around. If not, we still divorce. I get time, which gives me hope. I will have the ability to see my kids a lot. I am renting a room from a flight attendant who is gone about 1/2 the time. I get my house every other weekend and possibly more while my wife leaves. I can move back in if ultimately I don't see a benefit of being gone, but then she starts the D process.
I am not worried about abandonment issues. We will go through a mediator for the D if it ultimately comes to that. She is not vindictive and will not try and pull any kind of bulls**t.
I don't really know what else to do. I was not being successful DBing in the current sitch, I had to change things up and hope for a better outcome. Ultimately, I have a huge uphill battle any way I look at it. Again, I think I bought myself some time. Maybe I'm naive, but I didn't see staying here as gaining any positive ground.
M42 W38 D5D7 M8 Living as 'roomates' since 9-12-10 Moved out 1-7-11 FIL threatened to kill me 1-20-11
If I stay, she starts the divorce. If I go, she doesn't. I buy myself time to turn thnigs around. If not, we still divorce. I get time, which gives me hope. I will have the ability to see my kids a lot. I am renting a room from a flight attendant who is gone about 1/2 the time. I get my house every other weekend and possibly more while my wife leaves. I can move back in if ultimately I don't see a benefit of being gone, but then she starts the D process.
I am not worried about abandonment issues. We will go through a mediator for the D if it ultimately comes to that. She is not vindictive and will not try and pull any kind of bulls**t.
I don't really know what else to do. I was not being successful DBing in the current sitch, I had to change things up and hope for a better outcome. Ultimately, I have a huge uphill battle any way I look at it. Again, I think I bought myself some time. Maybe I'm naive, but I didn't see staying here as gaining any positive ground.
M42 W38 D5D7 M8 Living as 'roomates' since 9-12-10 Moved out 1-7-11 FIL threatened to kill me 1-20-11
