Welcome to the divorcebusting.com community. I'm really sorry you are going through this after so many successful years. It is not uncommon for a spouse to rewrite the emotional memory for a time. You seem to know not to take that to heart.
You will find in Divorce Remedy that relationships are based on PATTERNS OF INTERACTION. And that the patterns of interaction are kind of cyclical. When we DB well, we take the blame out of the equation. IT doesn't matter who initiated the interactions that are not working now, but generally, one person's action triggers the other person's action and so forth. What we do is break the pattern, do something different.
The key things to change are the ones that your wife has the most complaints about. (And the ones you have the most complaints about too for that matter, but right now let's focus on her.)
So--Get rid of the blame first. So right now, don't focus on the other man or her bad behavior.
Focus on-- 1)what is good between you. Keep that going, what you focus on expands.
2) What are the things she isn't happy with? What is so attractive about the outside life? What is different now about your situation when she isn't happy than the situation when she was happy waybackwhen? We're going to look to change those things.
Hang in there. This is a place where we focus on building loving relationships, we're with you.
sg
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
