I can do this...

[AntoniaB]

Eric and Punkin, LOL, but yes, it's true. I'm not lying when I say that a decent number of men's profiles on match.com end with "and yes, ladies, I do have all my teeth."

IB when you say "there" do you mean "over him?" I feel the same way; I'm not in the panic anymore of the initial shock and awe, and I'm not really depressed anymore as far as I can tell, so to me, I feel like I should be "over" him and 100% detached and not still thinking about him or rehashing stuff in my head 24-7. I still think I am doing that--thinking about him all the time. Unless I am in the middle of teaching a class or really engaged writing, he is "there" in my head. I can do a hundred things in a day to "distract" myself or be productive or even happy, but he's still "there" like an itch that won't go away. And I'm tired of it too, because I feel so strongly that he's not devoting all that brain power to thinking of me. I imagine that when he is with her, he rarely if at all thinks of me at this point. I mean, we haven't physically seen each other in 2 months, and I still have no desire to see him because I feel like it's going to bring stuff back to the surface.

So if that's what you mean, you're frustrated because you're not at the end of this road, yes, I am too, but there seems to be nothing one can do to rush it. I think we're just going to accept that this is part of who we are until it isn't, and that might be a very long time.

Sometimes I wonder if there will come a point when we're so detached that we actually remind ourselves to think about the marriage we had before it went south....

But you ended your post with "I've got to get better" and I'm thinking, IB, you ARE better. You're "heartsick", but overall, you are better and you are making an inch of progress every day. That wound is healing whether you are aware of it or not.