May the force be with you young Ericmsant2.....

[ericmsant2]

To all my DB friends,

I wish you all the best in this upcoming New Year. 2011 CAN be a year of transformation, a year of growth for ALL of us. All it takes is one thing…..

Choose!

We can choose to be happy, we can choose to say f it, we can choose to face every obsticale in our life, we can choose to stand up and say NO MORE, we can choose to say I WILL NOT FEEL defeated, we choose to look at our sitch’s and say…..I can do this, I will surive!

My hope and prayer for all of you is that YOU make the right CHOICE for YOU and YOUR families.

Now before some of you get ready to party….I respectfully that you stop for a second and…..

Give thanks for what you DO have in your life.

Some of you may be going through hard times, you may feel helpless, you may feel hopeless. DON’T!

Let go of any guilt. Please it does you no good. Everyone make mistakes...learn from them and do better. Period.

I mean really, we are all alive…we are all surviving. If we really stop for a second and think….life really is what we make of it. So please, make of it the best of YOUR life that you can.
To all of the men on these boards, especially those with children – to YOU I say this…..

Your children are looking to YOU to see how you react through all of this. Remember this – YOU are their role model. They will need strong men in their life as an example of how a man reacts to adversity. Please I implore you…..be this example for them. Show them how a man lives his life!

As for your spouses, let them go, give them over to a higher power and go live your life as the men that YOU want to be. Live a life of honor, respect, kindness, compassion, tenderness, strength, hope, faith, openness and most of all LOVE. A love for life, a love for your children and a LOVE of yourself!
As for me, some of you have wondered what is going on in my life. We’ll here is a quick update.

My D continues to move forward and at this point it is what I want.

My STBXW no longer wants the house, so I am working to try and find a way to keep it. I think it is important to maintain some level of normalcy for the kids, especially my D. If I cannot keep the house..well then, such is life.

The attny are supposed to be working up the separation agreement and I eagerly await the draft so that I can plan accordingly.
I have moved back into the master bedroom. My days sleeping on a sofa and/or the family room floor are OVER.

Christmas day was well let’s say interesting. My MIL and my STBXW went at it at the house. It has become very clear to me how lost my W is. Her resent me towards me is so obvious. Now when I look at her I feel nothing but remorse, nothing but sorrow. For the first time the reality of just how much this is about her has hit me. Nothing I do can help her. This truly is what she wants for her life. I will respect it.

My hope and prayer for her is that she find whatever it is that she is looking for. May she find the happiness that she seeks, while at the same time…leaving me the f*ck alone.

The hardest thing in this process is the impact to my children. They are suffering –silently – but suffering. For a long time I tried to avoid the pain for them (I come to realize that this is what I was standing for) – I know understand that I can only do the best I can to minimize the pain for them.

So I move forward in my life. I continue to work on my own happiness and that of my children. Divorce does not mean dead. I can trust again, I can love again, I can live again!

I am looking at the challenges ahead of me and sometimes they seem a little overwhelming and then I stop for a second and realize…….

I’m still alive!

I am still one kick ass DAD!

I will survive this – I have been through worse.

AND more importantly…..

Marriage, divorce, my wife, my kids…..

None of this defines ME…

The only thing that can hold me back is….

ME

God Bless all of you and may you have a wonderful New Year!

Eric