2 years later it's still not getting easier

[whitneypinch]

Hello yrsofhurt,

Thanks so much for your reply. It means a lot to me to get responses.

Of course I don't have the answers but for me I "think" having very little contact with my XW will help me through the day.

I don't even know who my X is anymore. She is so different than the person I married. Some of my friends have suggested that my X is now who she always was and that she changed to suit me when we met each other. They might be right.

A few times in the last month I have seen glimpses of my old wife. That is heartbreaking to see. I just want to reach out when I see that.

I think for most of us we hold onto a glimmer of hope. When we finally push back it's our way of saying goodbye. I believe we finally start to get our own lives back and start to realize we deserve better.

For me I just can not accept that given the chance to work on our family my XW did absolutely nothing. My 2 beautiful kids are starting to show signs of deep hurt and trouble yet my XW does nothing.

In her last note to me she said she was sorry and would always be. I am not sure that made me feel any better. I think a lot of people on this board would be grateful to hear sorry from they Xs. For me it just stung that it's really over.

I think the best thing for our x spouses to do is say over and over that they are not interested in us. I think that helps us move on. When they are being kind to us it's hard for us to tell if it's out of guilt or they are feeling warm and fuzzy towards us.

Believe it or not I am very grateful for this to have happened to me. It has gave me the greatest gift of all and that is appreciation and compassion.
It has also driven me to seek out projects with meaning to work on.

Yrsofhurt, I applaude you for having the strength to go through what you are dealing with. I hope it works out for you.
You too may find that it's too much to take and ask your XH to leave you alone.
Each case and person is different.

Please feel to write anytime.