I think we are all in the same place at the same time for a reason. Something led us to this site. To help each other and to gain insight into our own demons.
Beatrice is so right when she says we can still love our H's, but become detached enough to watch from afar without the pain of seperation. I believe I have reached that point. I can see my H without the pain. Now, if I had to see him with OW, I might go ballistic, but hopefully that won't happen.
I have good friends, good family, good employers. I have a roof over my head and food in my belly. For now, that's enough.
Forgiving your H is in part forgiving yourself. I think you are doing a great job. DESPITE THE FIREY CAR CRASH FANTASIES. LOL
