I spent a lot of the conversation validating her feelings about my behaviors. I told her that I had lost my identity and relied way to heavily on her for my happiness. That I finally understood what she meant by 'damned if she did, damned if she didn't' I told her that I have been living in ambivalence for a long time expecting her to make all of the decisions around the house from what we eat for dinner to what we do on the weekends. I told her that I need to detach myself from her to rediscover myself so that in the event that she decides that we can try to get back together, I will be capable of having a healthy M. I told her that ultimately, I know that if she decides to move forward with D, that there isn't anything that I could or would do to make it difficult for her and specifically the kids. I bit the bullet big time for some specific instances where I was a real a**hole. I did the best job I could to fall on the sword and take accountability for my actions with sincerity and humility. I left myself very vulnerable and I could see in her eyes that she took it to heart. Although she never once left me with any reason to be overly optimistic that this was anything but an opportunity to get an opportunity to build on a very thin foundation, I take it as the most positive interaction we have had since she dropped the bomb in September. It feels like since we spoke on Saturday, there has been a lighter mood around the house.
Was that question for me or habitacker?
M42 W38 D5D7 M8 Living as 'roomates' since 9-12-10 Moved out 1-7-11 FIL threatened to kill me 1-20-11
