GAL with waw. Stuck bad.

[habitacker]

Bond, I see that she is less tense and has softened. I believe she would talk. I am not sure how positive it would be though.

You say to talk when the time seems right, but others say to wait till she comes to me about R talk. I am kind of torn. I did read your other post on another thread about this and I understand what you are saying. I have just been stuck on not initiating R talk because that seems like the advice I usually get.

I will have to think hard about this. The last time I initiated R talk was the first time I heard "I want a divorce". I thought she had softened at that point but I was wrong. Now I am afraid to R talk.

As far as issues for her in marriage? I know the big thing was my anger. I was just a grumpy person. I have fixed this. Even MC is amazed that my anger has been so easy for me to take care of. Which shows me where some of it was coming from. I had lots of love to give, but forgot how. She wasn't receiving or giving it either. This was easy for us in the early years. We lost it somewhere and did not realize that marriage took work. Very bad communication by us. The ways I tried to communicate were wrong, and I never saw hers. She keeps everything inside. Michelle's WAW video says women use words, but guys need to see action, I got neither. Until the bomb.

As for other issues for her. I don't know. Like I said she just keeps everything to herself. I always feel like I am guessing. I believe this to be a big reason we are in this sitch. Not to take anything away from my faults, they we're big, and I am deeply ashamed, but things needed to be worked on before it got this far.

I feel the changes I have stated above are for me. I feel great not being a grump. I had been searching for an answer to that way before I even knew there was a problem with M.

Working out? That started out as just a way to go out in the shop and give her space. I like the way I look now, but have to admit I do not enjoy it. I work physically all day. The last thing I want to do is work out. A little discipline isn't gonna hurt me though.

Like I said, I really now there should be no expectations, I was just venting because it would be nice to hear something from her. It is a lot of work without reward at this time.