Mila and Cas, thanks for your feedback on Christmas Day.
Originally Posted By: Mila
Keep on doing what you are doing....you are one patient smartie
Mila, truly, determination is probably my best and worst attribute. It has served me very well in life but has also caused me some heartache. I have succeeded against tremendous odds on a few occasions in my life and that has only served to make me even more determined. Oh well...............It is what it is.
Originally Posted By: Mila
PS: My FIL had send me and D a Xmas card with a quote from the bible that said
"With God All things are possible" Matthew 19:26
That is very meaningful coming from your FIL. How wonderful for him to encourage you in this way.
Cas, thank you for your summary. I agree with what you wrote. Thank you for your continued encouragement. I know that you are going through a very difficult period now. I am keeping up with your thread and my thoughts are with you. ((((((Cas)))))))
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
You have me beaming from ear to ear reading your posts.
This latest flirt (which has now been reciprocated; elf hat pic in the back yard) has definitely caught Mr. GAG's attention
I like your slow and steady approach plan, IMO you can't go wrong here.
Remember to utilize all the basics of DB that work for you, I know you know which ones work between you and XH by now so I am not going to worry (well maybe a wee bit)!
Loved the selective use of a typo "hot rub"...you got yourself an "Attah-Girl" for that one
I can't wait to read about tomorrow's TT encounter.
(((Hugs)))
Sanderika
ME48/H48MLC T 33y M 28y S16 OW 8/7/05 Bomb 8/16/05 Sep 9/05 H f'd D 10/3/08 D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09 D dismissed 2/5/10 H served me D papers again 9/4/10 D dismissed 9/26/11
Hey folks! Now I know what a "jumper" feels like. Everyone's encouragement just kind of makes me want to do something "crazy". FYI, XH emailed me today to confirm our TT game tomorrow. I phoned him on my way home from work to tell him something about his mother (he's having computer issues) and we talked like good friends about his mother for 30 minutes........so another example of how much difference one year can make.
I was thinking today about how different my interactions with XH are now compared to when he was pushing for D so I thought that my posting this might be helpful to someone out there. Once XH was in a position where he couldn't blame me for his unhappiness (after the D) he stopped...........Now.......... my H/XH wasn't mean (just angry) and I know that many of the WASs out there are mean, but this observation may also apply to them.
Last week XH said something interesting to me. He told me that he thinks he paid too much for the house he bought 8 months after the bomb (BMF was XH's real estate agent) and now he has leaks in the ceilings of 3 rooms from ice dams. He had the same problem last winter..........The interesting thing he said was "I paid too much for that house but I HAD to buy it" (as in "I needed a place to live"). That is a snapshot into the WASs brain. One month before H/XH signed his purchase agreement on that house in 2009 I received a text from him at 1AM. It said something like "Please release me!" (as in "I can't stand living here with my mother anymore. Please settle the D with me so I can move into my own place".) I was so frustrated that I called his phone the next morning and left a VM reminding him that he had lots of options other than living at his mother's, including living in our house in a different bedroom, living in an apartment, or staying with friends............Fast forward 2 years.....XH is feeling that he was taken advantage of when buying his new house AND his bachelor pad with the master bedroom suite with cathedral ceilings in leaking everywhere.
In my case the expression "time is on your side" seems to be true.
I will share something with you on a more intellectual note....
I am not sure our MLCer's will ever see the lack of logic in their decisions they made whilst in the storm.....they made decisions based on what they could see at the time. There is no amount of convincing you will be able to do with Mr. GAG to show him what a horse's a$$ he was and what terrible decisions he made and that they were all his fault.
We as the LBS, are going to have to suck it up!!! Now coming here to vent about it is perfect and this is where it should stay. However, I am learning to "let go" of those frustrations when they arrise......part of work in this thing will be biting your tongue for quite a while.
Mr. GAG is going to say some things that are going to make your blood boil......try adding children into the mix!!!! That is almost unbearable, very hard for me. I was reminded of this yesterday as I was having lunch with my STBXW. She made some comment about wanting to set a good example for the children, I took the bait and responded....that was a mistake, no matter what I want. It just leads to more frustration for me when she does not see the logic and sanity of what I am saying. Not healthy for me......and ME is the most important person right now.
Keep up the FLIRTING......he is definitely responding!!!!
Can't wait for the de-brief!!!!
Cheers
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Everyone's encouragement just kind of makes me want to do something "crazy".