I am very happy for you that things are going well. It inspires me to hear such things. I wish so badly that I could be with my wife. I am still executing the 180, still going to the gym, still doing all my favorite things, but the holidays were horrible. My younger brother just got engaged. He and he fiance are so happy. They were all over each other at our family gathering. My younger sister has a 7 month old daughter and her and her husband were also there. Everyone was with someone except for me. This is the first time in 15 years my wife was not with us at our Christmas Eve gathering. At some point, I went into the bathroom and cried. I am 39 years old and crying like a little girl in the bathroom. It was awful. On Christmas night, I was alone driving home from another family gathering and I lost it again in the car. I would do just about anything to touch her right now. To just feel her skin again or lay in bed with her. I just want the holidays to be over.
She spent the holidays with her mother and father and they went to visit her sister and husband in another city. As a gesture of kindness, I bought her entire family gifts, wrapped them and sealed them in a box. I met her father for lunch one day last week and gave him the box with instructions to not open it until Christmas morning. Out of the blue on Christmas morning, I got a thank you text from her family members and one from my wife. I played it cool and didn't respond for two hours. She immediately responded back to my response. One of the gifts was for my wife's niece who is 2 1/2. The little one loved the gift and, much to the disappointment of her parents who had bought numerous gifts, refused to play with any other gifts the entire day but mine. My wife took pictures and videos of her playing with my gift and sent them to me with a thank you that seemed very sincere. I know that I did this in an attempt to win some points and that was probably wrong, but it did go over well. Since then, she has made no attempt at contact.
I think my problem right now is that I have not reached your point. I am still defining myself through my marriage. Without her, I still feel lost and incomplete. I will work on trying to be happy about who I am as an independent person. Maybe that will help. I still have a very long way to go...
Please keep up the good work and please keep us posted. I can only hope to be where you are some day...
fell
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
