These guys are really not OK. I have friends who have been through various divorces, and it doesn't have to be this way.

The facts are, yes, you were probably very co-dependent. not that unusual in married couples, especially those without children. But he ups and leaves you for another woman. Yes, it happens, but it isn't OK. EVERYONE needs time after a long relationship however good or however bad, to 'get over' this learn from the experience, and move on. your husband is actually, I suspect lost to himself. The cold tone is coming from a place of disassociation of his feelings. He hasn't been with OW very long in MLC terms. Watch this space. The relationship will change. But don't watch it obsessively!

I have felt all you have felt, I promise. But the relationship with OW isn't real. The only thing I wish was that I had learnt detachment a lot sooner. Still working on that assignment.

I remember all those 'cold' formal notes, and phone calls, - one of my friends whose h went through a MLC said it was as if she were trying to communicate through a pane of invisible glass. I remember looking at the cards and notes, and thinking where did the love go?

No relationship that begins in lies and betrayal is ever healthy. I knew that from day one, and although, like you, I doubted it at times, my husband told me I was right a few months ago!

Work on detachment. I loved my husband and I still love him, but I can contemplate life without him. I am not interested in another relationship, but that is because I am still healing and working on myself. When you are, you will know. Of course you are still grieving and hurting. your husband betrayed to you, and lied to you, and broke promises. If your business partner had behaved like that you would also have been extremely upset, let alone your husband.

No one has to stay in a relationship that isn't happy, but that is not the way to leave it. Please do read the Frank Pittman article on infidelity that I suggested. It tells you a lot about infidelity even if you do not subscribe to the notion of MLC.

My guess is that you are afraid that the woman is right for him [she isn't] and that he will never come back, which threatens your sense of self, understandably. You are human and hurting.

You are going to be alright, but it will take time, and in the meantime, you have to be nice to yourself, and not look for the quick fix