Thank you for the encouragement, I've been having difficulty making progress. In fact, I've slipped backward. I found myself focused on making sure that my H got the attention and/or physical relief that he needs, but found myself not feeling excited or interested in him. He was anxious to keep moving forward and get to the point where he could actually engage in intercourse, and I just felt disappointed that the focus is always on having sex (or getting there). I shared my feelings with him and he said that I just needed to make a decision to do it. Well, making a decision to feel a particular way doesn't sit right with me, shouldn't the feeling come from within, not because I am forcing myself to be a certain way? It seems like I've forced myself to go along and try to accommodate him for so long that it is not surprising I feel resentment towards him and my own feelings are dead. I realize too that I am not happy with many aspects of our relationship which contributes to my lack of desire for him, but he is someone who can separate sex from the rest and so he doesn't understand when I try to explain it to him. I'm having trouble liking him and I'm having trouble focusing on the positives in my relationship and I don't even feel like trying...in addition to having a very difficult time trying to figure out how to want sex when I am not feeling any sort of desire.
