Working on acceptance and forgiveness

[girlfromipanema]

Why am I so stuck on him choosing me? Notice I don't say "maybe he's no longer right for me." I am starting to think that the Catholic upbringing has really affected me even though I'm no longer Catholic. I wanted to "mate for life" and I'm having a terrible time trying to get rid of that belief in my head. I bet you on some level I'm afraid I won't be in another relationship because I don't think I'm "supposed" to be in a relationship with anyone but him...

I can so relate to how you're feeling. I think at some point, once the pain has lessened, you will come to a place where you won't be as hurt about his choice. The pain may always be there, but it won't be as intense as it is today. No one imagines his or her marriage could become so cold and lifeless. We assumed that problems could be dealt with and that our spouses would have the guts, integrity and honor to address the weaknesses in our marriages with us, as a team, rather than running into the arms of another or sticking his/her head in the sand until they've reached the point of "no return".

If you do find yourself in another relationship, it will be stronger and better and more honest because you have made such progress in the person you wish to be.

I'm so thankful to have this forum to share in the pain of others (sounds odd, doesn't it?), because I know I'm not alone in my feelings/pain/confusion. I enjoy popping into the "Surviving" section to see how well people are doing now. It's not an easy road, but life will go on.

My hope for you is happiness and a feeling of completeness, whether your H comes to his senses or not.