GAL with waw. Stuck bad.

[habitacker]

Sandi, I would like to ask you a few questions about your sitch on your original post. I always thought a waw just walked away. They did not try to fix anything. Which is what my wife is doing.

On your post it looked like you made some progress in the first 7 to 12 days. You had made a decision to stick to your M and end the EA. You were trying to fix your M by just coming to this forum. How does this make you a waw, or was it before you found this place? I guess I am asking about what was going on before you started looking for help, and what made you start looking?

I really appreciate you having that post still up. I think it is going to help me with patience knowing what she is feeling. Just knowing how you viewed your H is an eye opener. I can just feel my wife doing the same. Especially when she is in a certain mood. I guess it is not a mood, it is like she has different personalities. One day she treats me like she can't stand to be around me. The next day like I am dumb, almost sarcastic, and the next like everything is fine, but it comes off fake.

There are so many things on your post I see in my wife. Actually reading your post about needing space really makes me understand it, because at that time when you wrote that, it was real. It was not just someone or a book telling me to give her space. You sounded trapped.

There was a post that said when you looked at your H you saw anger, but when H and daughter went for drives she saw a different side of H. When did this change for you and how? Also, when your view changed how did you react to it?



I do not know where I read it, but someone said that waw, or when you are in the fog is like a sickness. You know the right things to do, but you can't do it. This is really hard to understand for me. Knowing my wife like I do, I am sure she knows what is right, but something just won't let her take that route.

She had said something awhile back about just living life like the serenity prayer. The part about being able to change the things I can and courage to accept the things I can't, has gotten to me ever since she said this because I wish she could see the things she can change.

My wife has also never been with anyone besides me. The reason I bring this up is because I found it a little humorous that in your old posts you commented on being older, and talked about how getting married and things were different then. Like a different generation. I have always felt that my wife and I were more like you explained it, more like your generation. Her being a virgin, dating for almost a year before anything happened,dated for 8 years before we got married, her morals, things like this just seem different for the times we live in. I am not saying it is better, but it is something that makes me value this relationship so much. It would be next to impossible to find this again. I just can't see her throwing this away. I am so glad you and your H saved yours.

Thank you so much.

oh yeah, she is a sunday school teacher also.