Our Story

[luvless]

Here I am, one year later.

Moved out 1 1/2 mos ago, and my L is officially filing tomorrow.

I wish this whole thing was a bad dream. I still love her, I guess that's why it hurts. But I'm no longer trying to lead "us" to safety. I can see where things went south, and the other barriers that were already waiting in place to trip us up once things got into motion. She is wounded, and unable to heal. And I do feel partly responsible, although I now realize that I was never able to heal her. I wanted to be her savior, make things right for her, I guess.

And where I fit into this whole DB terminology, I don't know. I'm the one who moved out, is filing, who tried to move us to a better place. I was not able to do that, tho. I failed.

My heart hurts tonight, knowing that tomorrow will be the undoing of what was once an incredible love relationship. I see pictures of us, and it hurts like crazy. We were so happy, but didn't know enough to care for each others hearts while we still could, when we needed to. We thought that would just happen magically, I guess.

While you still can, are still able, care for each other. Love each other, take time away to be there for each other. It seems so simple, and it is. Don't let busyness, life's curves, distract you from loving your partner the way you know you should. Or one day it will all be gone.

And I pray, and believe, that God will somehow, one day, allow me to love again.

Prayers for all of you.

J R

This brought me to tears...like reading from my own sitch.