STBXH wants to show kids what a "real family is"

[MeMyselfandI]

Hi Pickle, thanks for the response. I guess it's difficult to decide whether I'm being solution oriented in that decision or simply protective of my daughter in particular.

I guess I haven't really taken the time to spell out goals, short or long term as it has been such a whirlwind since this whole process started.

You are right, setting aside emotion is an important part of this and something I have real difficulty with.

It really breaks my heart when my daughter and I had a conversation about me not going over for Christmas and she said, why don't you come, Daddy really wants you there. I tried to explain to her that I didn't want to go because I didn't want her and her brother to feel like it meant we were going to be a family again and she said "if you and Daddy don't get back together I'm just going to kill myself."

She won't talk to her Dad like that, she has told me that. She has also told me she doesn't mean it but she if really angry because her Daddy and I never fought like all her friend's parents so she doesn't understand why we can't be a family.

I guess for the immediate and urgent goal of protecting my children, I feel that my decline was solution oriented; however this does nothing for my dbing efforts in the long run.

Ho hum.