STBXH wants to show kids what a "real family is"

[MeMyselfandI]

I have been lurking on these boards and reading for a very long time. Much has happened over the last year and I have been dbing the best I can based upon advice I have read here, along with the books but I think it's time I get some guidance along the way.

I'll try to keep this brief but as you can see by my sig, we are fast-tracking to divorce. I have initiated this as I do not want anything to do with our old marriage, ever! I never felt like it was mine to begin with as his mother planned the whole thing, it was a double wedding with his brother and at the end of the day, I didn't have a say in pretty much any part of it, including picking the date.

He has said, right from the onset of our separation that he hasn't been happy for a long time, (neglected marriage, I'm too old for him, we have nothing in commmon, we don't have any common friends and a whole host of other things). He said that it takes two strong people to make a marriage work and we just didn't and for that he is sorry but that we now have a chance to make this next stage in our lives better and to show the kids "what a real family is".

I have a really hard time with this part and I've tried very hard to not be resentfull but can't help but wonder how you do this when there is NO family. I feel like he ripped that right out from under all our feet in order for him to be happy, rather than put in the work necessary to make it better.

I'm starting to ramble so on to my more specific current situation. I'm using LRT as much as possible as I find it is the only thing that helps me detach. Communication is pretty much limited to text and emails, all business. We have joint custody of our two wonderful children and rotate the holidays. This year, it was his turn to have them for Christmas and I had them the week before. I had originally planned to go to visit family over the holdidays, (both of our families live hundreds of miles away) but I'm in the middle of some house renovations and decided the holidays would be a good time to get some work done around the house. The kids told STBXH that I wasn't going anywhere so he sent me an email and invited me over for Christmas morning, dinner, or whatever I was comfortable with. I declined the invitation thanking him and simply saying that it was his special time with the kids. I hated having to do that but:

1. He has always counted on me changing my mind about things and backing down to do whatever makes others happy.
2. Our daughter is struggling with this whole situation and the truth is, we have not done much together and do not speak much in person. Whenever there has been times where we have all been together, it seems to have a negative impact on our daughter as she gets her hopes up, only to have them ripped apart again. I've noticed this and try very hard not to give her false expectations.
3. I felt that this invitation was sent out of sympathy, or to just try to ease his guilt over the whole situation.

I'm sorry this is long but I just don't know if I did the right thing. I'll have many more questions I'm sure, as I continue along this journey.