It has been a long time since I posted...I have been going through a lot of emotions and I have withdrawn from really everyone when it comes to my relationship with my H.
Let me tell you about my Christmas...
My H and I decided a couple weeks ago that we would spend Christmas together with the girls - just the 4 of us. Friends and family were a little upset over this, but I was firm and said that the ONLY thing that was important on Christmas was my girls happiness. That both H and I wanted them to feel loved and secure on Christmas.
We spent Christmas Eve at my brother's house, and then went home. My H got off work about 9pm and as planned, he came to the house to spend the night so we could both be with the girls Xmas morning.
H got to the house, the girls were downstairs in thier rooms. He grabbed my hand took me into my bedroom and started kissing me. He looked at me and said that he had been thinking of that all day. One thing led to another and we made love. It was not just sex. We looked deeply into each others eyes, I started tearing up a little and I took his face into my hands and said I love you. He hugged me really tight and said I love you too. He looked at me and said the one thing I have been waiting to hear for 6 months...
I am breaking it off with her and I will be back home by the end of the week. I love you. We are going to make this work. Things will be different - they have to be.
I started to cry really hard, he said "baby whats wrong?" I said that I had been waiting so long to hear you say those words to me. He held me close and said that he knows and that he was so sorry.
He asked me to give him this week to talk to her and to have some time alone. I said that I understood.
We had an incredible Christmas. The girls loved thier gifts. My H had gotten me the most incredible pair of Nike running shoes and I had gotten him a North Face jacket that he had been wanting for a long time.
I made the most incredible Prime Rib - we busted out the china and wine glasses (the girls had sprite in thier glasses :-) and my oldest D toasted to a wonderful Christmas and thanked God that we were together for Christmas.
We had a lazy day. watched movies and took a nap. That night, Brian cuddled up with me on the couch in front of the girls.
H had to go to work at 9:30pm and when he left he gave me a big hug and kiss (on the mouth) in front of the girls.
He has been at work until just this morning. He text me and called me all day yesterday. Very sweet. I asked him if I was going to see him this week at all, because I wanted him to have his space to deal with his situation. He said that yes I will see him and yes he will need his space.
I won't pressure, and as hard as it is to think he is going to be heartbroken when he breaks it off with the OW, I HAVE to understand and give him time. I HAVE to be positive and upbeat so the transition will be easier for him.
Well, this is were I am at. My Christmas miracle. It is a long slow road ahead - I know. Hopefully I can get him to go to a MC.
I don't know guys...I am really truly hopeful for the first time. I think this is for real. but if he falls back - I have to be emotionally ready for it. Pray for me.
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
