Running out of time

[Augtan]

GF, I totally understand why and how you are looking at everything he does as some kind of sign he is coming out of the tunnel. I have done the same thing for months~but it does you no good mentally, when he is out, he will be out and you will know it and it will be completely different, not short-lived and not you grasping at straws.

I have had a horrible few days...XH is here and it is really bad. I screwed up Christmas Eve by drinking too much wine and going off on him about a bunch of things, he left and went to a hotel, I begged him to come back for Christmas morning with the kids (he did and left again), apologized and apologized and he wouldn't accept it and is being so mean and awful to me. He has done a million more things to me and the kids and I have forgiven him, so now I am just over it, and if he wants to be like that it is his problem, I am dark. We took the kids to the movies yesterday, I had one kid, he had the other two and we met there, sat across the theater, no contact or words at all. Then, I went to meet my friends, he took the kids and we ended up at the same place, he rolled his eyes and wanted to leave when he saw me, but the kids made him stay, one ended up sitting me with and the other two ended up with us too cause XH was constantly on his phone on facebook or texting or whatever, they can't stand to be around him for long. It is a so sad.

He told me he would never set foot in my house again, that we would never ML again, that it was just sex (not at all true, but he wants to think that), and that he will never come back to me because of my anger...MY ANGER..really?? These people are sooo messed up it is ridiculous!! He wants the boudries to be what he wants them to be at that time and then change them to how he feels the next time and again the next time, I just can't do that anymore and neither should you...I am setting the boundries this time and they are going to stick, if he wants them changed they will be on my terms not his.

I am sorry if I hijacked this for a minute, but we have a lot in common and I had to vent to someone who knows. I am taking Snodderly's advice and leaving XH out there to be under God's wing, although he doesn't believe in God...so...which is interesting cause he posted this on his facebook "Pauses to thank the angels who have brought many blessings. I hope all of my friends and family are touched with the Christmas Spirit" LOL!! Really..he has no family, very few "real" friends, doesn't believe in God, no job, no real home, kids who can't stand him. That is what I mean about being nuts...he has no concept about reality at all. Let us know how your holiday went and I hope you are doing okay!! Sending you hugs!!

A