I think it is natural that your kids are concerned they will have inherited some "gene" that makes them relive their Dad's mistakes. My first husband is gay; therefore, my oldest was worried they would be gay. It's normal.
I don't think this is an inherited type of problem. It's definitely an attitude problem; a state of mind, but those are formed by outside forces. Hopefully, your kids can take it as a learning experience. What NOT to do. The caution signs they should look for in their own lives as they age, and as their spouses age.
My H was fond of throwing up at me " I'm not _______" ( my alcoholic XH) No, he wasn't. He was worse in many ways.
Take comfort in that you are the sane parent, and the one they can turn to for their comfort. They know they can always turn to you; bet they will always be there for you, as well.
