Kaboom

[girlfromipanema]

sg, handsome rat - big hugs to you both. I sound like a broken record, but your support gives me so much strength.

OK, so h comes home and asks if I want a chicken sandwich. What??? NOOOOO, I don't want a friggin sandwich, tell me what happened you ding dong!! He wasn't gone from home long and he had time to stop at McDonald's so it wasn't a super long conversation between OW and h.

I should mention that over the past couple of days I've shared the back and forth texts between OW and me with H and told him whatever he said to her would likely get back to me via her or her bf, so he should just be honest from the start. (The lie I caught him in earlier this week was 'leaked' to me by OW's boyfriend, then later by her via text. I asked H about it and he lied until I told him about the texts. Now I know what his face looks like when he's lying for sure...)

My hands were trembling so I had to sit on them.

He said it was a cluster f*** conversation. They prearranged a time to speak on the phone and when he called, asked if now was a convenient time and she replied "yes." First he told her "girlfromipanema knows I'm talking to you and gave me permission to do so." (side note: huh? gave him 'permission'???)

He begins to tell her that his terrible choice early in our marriage has consequences far reaching than the three of us. He said he never planned for things to get this way, but once he crossed the line he found himself in an impossible situation. At that point, OW's boyfriend comes into the room where she's talking and starts yelling at her then takes her phone away and starts screaming at my husband, but he accidentally hit the mute button so H didn't hear the barrage - just silence for a couple of minutes. I know it's not funny in the least, but I have to stop myself from chuckling just a little bit about that. In fact, I'm trying not to laugh right now, but I can't help myself. Poor guy. OW's boyfriend has been through so much hell. My heart breaks for him.

OW finally gets back on the phone and h says he's trying to communicate 'ground rules' - i.e. no contact between them, that it was over, etc. but he said she went around and around in circles telling him (screaming at him, actually) that he deceived her and lied to her over and over. H said he told her he is sorry that she feels that way, but he never made promises to leave me - that he told her many times and felt she understood that if they were to have anything between them, her role would be "mistress" (puke vomit gag). H said she was being very emotional and wouldn't allow him to talk much (I know how she can be - very hot tempered and hard to communicate with. I don't know if she has a specific personality disorder other than being a b****).

He told me the conversation didn't go as he had planned, that he wanted to tell her he cares about her but now that this affair is out in the open, he feels he can put effort into trying to see if our marriage can be saved without worry and pressure from her to go public with it (I'm taking all that he's saying with a grain of salt, no worries). He said he wanted to establish clear ground rules for contact, as there may be loose ends to tie up regarding work projects (she quit her job, we think), but he said he isn't sure how much she actually heard since there was so much screaming going on.

He told me even though he didn't get to say exactly what he wanted, he feels he got complete closure and there is no ambiguity with regard to where they stand.

I do feel OW has been trying to rile me up so that I'll just tell him to leave and she can stake her claim. I could be wrong, but that's my gut feeling.

I know not to take his word for what was said, but I know OW's boyfriend would be calling/texting me the moment he found out any details that would make H look bad... We'll see what happens from here. He's still reading "Not Just Friends" and I feel a sense of relief from him that his double life is finally out in the open.

I feel an inner victory that I've been handling myself with such calm, dignity and strength (for the most part) and she acted like a raving, out of control you-know-what.

I know I have a very long road ahead of me whatever I decide.

Thank you to all of you for your love, prayers and support. Hugs and kisses. xoxo