Crossroads

[Kemper]

W and I had a long conversation on Christmas Eve after the boys went to bed. To make a long story short she said she wanted to work on the M. We talked a lot about the past, our M, and the A. W wanted to know if I would be open to going to MC. She realizes there is a lot of work that needs to happen by both of us. Her one concern is that I will never be able to trust her again. She understands that gaining the trust back would take time. After the conversation I kept asking myself if I wanted to try, was I being played, should I give it a shot. After our conversation I sent a text and asked W to check out Retrouvaille if she was serious about us and making it work. She said she would check it out.

The boys, my mother, and I had a great Christmas morning. After presents I dropped them off at W's house so they could also spend Christmas there. When I got there W gave me a gift my oldest son made. We made small talk and as I was getting ready to go she hugged me.

As planned I went to spend the afternoon at GF's house. W sent a txt during the afternoon to see if she could pick up my son's Leapster on Sunday. I called to talk to the boys and ask about their Christmas later in evening. W asked if she could also pick up our dog when she got the Leapster and I said no problem.

I fell asleep early Christmas night and woke up this morning with a few text messages from W. The first one was asking about this Friday and if I had off of work. Then she asked if I was busy after not getting a response. She stated that I must be busy at GF's house but then said it wasn't any of her business.

I responded this morning and answered her questions but didn't address any of the text messages about GF's house. I called her and said that I could bring the Leapster and dog over after I finished a few things around the house.

I got to W's condo and said that I was going to grab a coffee or bite to eat and asked if she wanted to go. She said sure but asked if I could help her put a shelf together.

We put the shelf together, I talked with her mom, and then we all took the boys outside to play in the snow. After that my W and I went out to grab a bite to eat. It started off with normal conversation but turned to us.

I validated her feelings, concerns, and fears during the conversation. My W is a very closed person and to this day it is still frustrating to talk to her sometimes and feel how closed she is.

At one point we talked about her breaking it off with OM. I comforted her and told her that I understood how hard it must be. I know my W has feelings for OM or she would have never left the marriage. I also know their R isn't doing great at all and she has stayed to justify herself in her decision to give up on the M. I am not saying it is going to be easy to break it off but it MUST be done. We talked again about no contact and she stated that she might change her number so that he can't call/text her. OM works odd hours because of his job and due to that W said she was going to break it off this week so she doing it over the phone vs. by txt/email.

We ended the day with some hugs and kisses. I shot her a text when I got home and said thank you for an enjoyable afternoon. That I do not want ever interaction to turn into a serious conversation but I think we are at a point right now where there is too much unsaid that needs to be put on the table. She agreed and said that she has enjoyed spending time with me and we are doing a good job of having open and honest conversations.

2x4s welcome here. What am I missing? What can or should I be doing to improve my chances of a successful reconciliation? I will say that I am not afraid of divorce. However, I do not want to look back 10 years from now and ask myself why I didn't try everything I could to save my M.