It'a All About Me

[Sanderika]

(((Cas)))

I hope you and daughter and son had a nice Christmas regardless of H's behavior.

After reading about his latest escapades, I am inclined to believe that he is throwing a temper tantrum and firmly making a stand that he is not ready for what was beginning to happen. He has retreated far back into the tunnel. This could be an effort to regain control over what he perceived as a spiraling loss of control where things were moving along too fast. This is something Rabbit warned me about several posts back on this thread.

I don't think they spend as long a time in the tunnel at this stage as they did at the beginning of the MLC. They cycle just the same but things improve between you, the kids and him that are undeniable to him, thus resulting in shorter stints.

H's upcoming plans and schedule has me thinking that he is trying to escape but it's not really working for him because he has doubts. One thing I have learned for sure is that they live with doubt over their choices 24/7. Every time they think they
have figured out what they want they change their mind again.
It's a big part of the MLC mindset. I have always tried to behave towards H in a way that he would have to constantly ask himself why he was leaving in the first place. And wonder to the point that he would assume his reasons were not justifiable and ridiculous.

Time and Positive Treatment is the only way they see their way out of the fog. We all know that they try in desperation to run back into the tunnel at the first sign of reconnection.

I say your H is attempting to run again. It all started with MIL visit this spring. Your best plan would be to leave him alone and carry on like you have your life all together, it brought him out before....it will again. I have experienced this too numerous times to count. IMO, I experienced the out of the tunnel H and the going back in the tunnel H all in the same day yesterday.

Cas, this is part of the game we play with them. It will be enough is enough when WE decide it is. I have renewed hope in my sitch even though January 13th is looming. We will most likely be divorced way before H and I are resolved about this mess. And, that might just be the beat all and end all of the whole thing.

Remember this battle inside H is beyond your control. All you can do is to continue to be the wonderful Cas that you are.

I'm thinking about you,

Sanderika