It'a All About Me

[Sanderika]

Hello (((Cas))), (((GAG))) & (((Rabbit)))

First I want to thank you for the warm Christmas wishes.

An update in my sitch, son and I had a wonderful Christmas :):)

H and I put the final touches on his gift to son together Christmas Eve afternoon at his request. We chatted numerous times via cell during the morning and afternoon.

It was enjoyable and felt real and the way things are supposed to be. H and I are very comfortable around each other. He must have felt good about it all too, after all he initiated all the calls and the desire for my help.

Son and I spent Christmas Eve at my parents home and had an enjoyable time with my family. This is important since I have been mostly estranged from them all for over two years now as a result of my sitch with H. While there H tried to call my cell, I did not think it was my phone so I ignored the ring, H did not leave a message and I have not asked H why he tried to call me. I do want to know but may not seek out the answer, he mentioned nothing yesterday.

Christmas morning H arrived at 8:30, son was still asleep and H roused him up in grand booming style, it was very funny and son was a good sport!!

After we had a nice breakfast, we shared our tree with each other as a family and it felt wonderful...just the three of us opening gifts and laughing and being happy.

H surprised me with 2 beautiful gifts. I was so surprised.

He bought me a "Charmed Memories" bracelet with two charms and two stops on it. One charm was my blue birthstone and the other was a four leaf clover in white crystals. Absolutely gorgeous. My H actually shopped at a jewelers for me for Christmas!!! I am in shock. He was so proud proud of his gift. I wore it all day I love it!!!

The other gift is a beautiful Swarovski crystal angel dated 2010. H knows I collect angel ornaments for my Christmas tree. Every year it is adorned with the angels I have collected for 25 years. H said when he saw her he thought of me and that he thought she was so beautiful. She is amazing and I love her!!!

To be honest with you all, H never put much effort into gifts for me. This is a fact he is well aware of because he has stated in the past he now realizes he should have been more thoughtful towards me in the gift department.

For my H to give me two very thoughtful gifts this year has to be sign of changes in him. He must love me just like he says. I thanked him with a big hug and a little kiss on his neck. H hugged me back with a tiny extra squeeze and no kiss.

Son and I got H much more ordinary things as gifts. Things he could use on a more practical note: shirts and a big box of his favorite snacks (spicy, seasoned nuts like cashews, pistachios and almonds). I wish son and I had done more for him.

We spent the day playing in the snow on snowmobiles, watching A Christmas Carol and napping. H stayed all day. He had lunch and dinner with us. He took son to his brothers for a visit in the evening (did not invite me) and I was fine with that. H brought son home at 10:30 and did not come inside.

I think after such a good day I expected him to come in when they got back. I will admit to you all it felt weird that he did not and it hurt a bit. Perhaps H was on overload from such a good day and needed to be alone with his thoughts. I hope he looks back on the day with very fond memories, I know son and I will.

I will continue to post updates....

My thought for today: In MLC separations/divorces, huge amounts of time with dose after dose of consistent kind, loving, compassionate and forgiving support towards our wayward will bring them out of the dark and erase their fears.

Hugs to you all,

Sanderika