I am sorry that you are dealing with an affair. I get that you can't understand why we were swingers, and most people can't fathom it. I regret it and in my current situation understand the pain of an affair because what my W is doing is not something the two of us agreed on. I am sorry for your pain and want to let you, and everybody else reading this know that even if the suggestion is for me to date/have sex while separated I don't believe I can. As I said, my body might scream for anything right now but my soul yearns for my W and I have to be able to tell her truthfully that I waited for her once we start reconciling.
I know some might think me overly optimistic to say "when" and not "if" but something I've been learning recently is to truly believe in what you want and expect.
