H's MLC - finding compassion and forgiveness

[Mila]

Thank you CW, Beatrice, SA, Snodderly, CW & GAG....Merry Xmas to you all of you, hope you all have happy and peaceful Holidays

Yes my H is self absorbed, selfish and totally out to lunch....he can dream on with the iphone... and BTW he has a perfectly good iphone, but it's not the latest model.....

Journaling:

Email yesterday morning from H - "my nephew is in town and wants to see my dad...Would be nice if you wanted to come with us"....replied that I can't already have plans....

I invited him for Xmas Eve diner for 7pm and at 5pm I get an email

"I will come at 6... I hope that’s OK..." I replied "I thought that we agreed on 7pm" his reply "Is 6 a problem...? you don’t have to take care of me, I can watch tv".

He didn't know that I knew why he wants to come earlier...he didn't have the guts to tell me...OW needed his car because she made dinner plans with her H & kids (she changed their plans as well to coincide with my H's dinner at my house)...but her dinner was earlier so she was going to drop H off at my house at six instead of 7pm....Yet again who cares about me...this was what was good for them....

When he came at least I put him to work in the kitchen. We managed to have a nice "family" evening, H had to excuse himself from the dinner table because he got emotional...and second time he started to cry was when he was opening a present from D and reading the card she made for him....

I got H a book and a CD and received from him a "get rich fast" type of a book...oh yes and a Xmas card where he wrote that he loves me in his heart and he is sorry for all the pain he has caused me and hopes that one day I'll forgive him....he wrote a similar apology in D's card "I'm sorry for all the pain my actions last year have caused you"...

Seems like he is sorry for what he's done, but not willing to change anything....

D & I also had presents under the tree from our good friends....and H didn't get any from them this year....that was a little awkward....H seemed hurt, even said yeah they won't even accept my friendship on Face book...Also no presents from my family for him...but my mom sent H's & D's favorite chocolates and D generously gave 1/2 to H to take with him...

BTW I didn't give him any of my Xmas cookies (that he loves) to take with him...that's a perk of being married to me...not to take and eat with OW...

I probably drank to much champagne, so I was a bit tipsy by the end of the evening...but overall I managed to survive it without being upset or emotional....

Today I got a thank you email from H
"Thank you for having me last night; D was so happy; and I was very happy to see you"

To recap, H had bags under his eyes, when he came he told me that he didn't sleep the night before that his stomach hurts (that's where he carries his stress) and said that "he is coming apart" don't know what that means...but he ate and drank and I'm sure that the heavy food probably didn't help his stomach...wonder if he was up all night again...oh well OW can take care of him...not my problem anymore...

I'm pretty much booked until the New Year...something happening every day, I either have someone over or going to friends for diner or visiting, even a lunch date
Keeping busy, enjoying my friends and living my life

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Xmas Day