The only thing I can explain are my what my views were from the time I met my W until they recently switched.
I saw "just sex" as no big deal, no emotional commitment was necessary to enjoy sex, and the only analogy I can give is that "no strings sex" and swinging was like masturbating to a porno with a toy...but the toy is flesh and bone.
If I had ever for a moment realized how unhappy my W was in our R I would have never thought of swinging. I will not start bashing people who are into swinging, but I have always believed that if you are in a serious R or M then you DO NOT swing unless your R is rock-solid.
I am confused mostly how she can go from sexual with me to non-sexual with me...to sexual with anybody and then no sex drive...and now sexual with somebody else. I know it doesn't make sense, it is all emotions and they are contradictory inside me. I want to have sex with somebody, anybody because my body is screaming for it but my SOUL wants my W and nobody else and that's why her having sex with somebody else now is killing me.
I want to bust my divorce and be monogamous with my W. I ask about the dating and having sex while separated b/c I wonder if that will help with detachment. Also, she complained that I never listened to her and now she has told me to date...so if I don't date am I "just not listening to her again" or should I be noble and when she comes out of the fog will she admire that I held her high enough not to be with anybody else?
