Kaboom

[girlfromipanema]

I just went downstairs and apologized for sending mixed signals and reiterated that I understand how difficult this is for him. We gave each other a hug and he asked if I was going to eat dinner tonight. I said, "maybe later" and he said "then I'll wait for you."

We are both making the effort to be kind and caring to each other and I feel that is a positive in the midst of all the muck. I know he loves me, but this is still the hardest thing I've encountered in life thus far.

Many years ago, h and I were in Philly for a business function and the cocktail hour entertainment included a palm reader. He told me age 39 would be a really stressful year. I was 35 when I first found DB, and I would tell myself, "maybe the palm reader said 35 rather than 39..." now I'm 37. WTF does 39 have in store for me???

He also said I'd have twins, so maybe I'll have twins at 39 and that will be the cause of my stress. Mind you, I don't put a lot of faith in what this palm reader said, but it's always something I've thought about. He was a magicial/palm reader/entertainer. ha ha. See, I still have a glint of humor left in me. :-)