Kaboom

[girlfromipanema]

Thanks for your encouragement, sg. I'm sorry you experienced the betrayal of a treasured friend. It's always so hurtful, regardless of the circumstances.

My texts to OW spurred several replies today, mostly letting me know how much she is hurt by h's lies to her, but in the same text says h stated that she was his mistress only and he didn't have plans to leave me. She said she had to find out the truth by threatening to go public. In another text, she claims he told her he made a mistake in not chosing her and the only reason he couldn't was because of the business.

I foolishly shared these texts with h, who is angry at her and says she isn't being honest. He wants "closure". He'd rather do it face to face and I said I'd prefer for him to get closure over the phone, but would leave the decision up to him.

I've been so confused about the whole thing that I've decided whatever he chooses will help me make the decision I need to regarding my future.

This has been the worst Christmas of all time. My family lives in another state, and my mood was so bleak this morning that I lied to them when I called, saying I woke up with a stomach bug. I just couldn't bear to act as if the world around me wasn't crashing down.

I finished reading "Not Just Friends" and gave it to h. I wish he'd put a priority on me and stop what he's doing to read it. It's been a difficult day for him, as well. I do understand that, but I'm done with putting 110% of myself into a marriage that has been a complete lie. I'm certainly not feeling a lot of hope. I'm sad, but I know I'll make it through this fine - and stonger, wiser and with more insight.