Im trying to do that buti dont seem to be making much progress(at least to me). Thats what im asking,does it look like i am? what do her actions possibly say about what shes feeling/thinking, what can i guage her concerning them?
You're right, I mean up it a little bit because she's noticing. You can't tell exactly what she's thinking or feeling yet, just increase it a bit and give it about 2 more weeks before assessing.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Thank you SG, any other opinions on what may be gleaned from her actions? Id like for sandi or mrbond to weigh in. Any idea as to what may be going through her head will be of help to me(i know i sound like a broken record, but i really want a better understanding of where she is in the thought process right now). I will continue with my efforts to act as if and not contact her, but when were face to face i find it very difficult, and i anticipate that happening tonight when she drops off the kids, so any insight i would find helpful.
Thank you SG, any other opinions on what may be gleaned from her actions? Id like for sandi or mrbond to weigh in. Any idea as to what may be going through her head will be of help to me(i know i sound like a broken record, but i really want a better understanding of where she is in the thought process right now). I will continue with my efforts to act as if and not contact her, but when were face to face i find it very difficult, and i anticipate that happening tonight when she drops off the kids, so any insight i would find helpful.
Unfortunately, I think that you are trying read her mind. You might be seeing some positive signs, but no one is going to know for sure except for her. Hang in there!
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
well christmas night she dropped off the kids with me and went out and did something. When she came back i lit the candles on my cake and she sang me happy birthday and we hung out for a bit, she asked if she could stay the night but told me not to touch her or try her. She told me the next day that if i had tried her that she probobly would not have resisted, her words "Nick i love you and theres a lot of strong emotions there, if you would have tried i would have probobly melted". Well the next day i kinda back slid and went through her phone and found out that one of the guys she was talking to was going to go with her to a play, but decided not to cause his mother was sick and he wasnt feeling to well and it was too cold and his sinuses were acting up.
After that i went to church and decided to take the kids with me while she stayed at my house and slept, when we came back she had woken up and gotten herself ready. (side note, i used what little money i had left to buy the 3 of them breakfast and lunch.) When we walked in the house i put my youngest down for a nap and gave my wife the lunch i had gotten her. She gave me a hug and i talked her into giving me a kiss, she then kissed me on the neck and i looked and her funny and said cmon she then kissed me on the check and i laughed, she then kissed me and sucked on my ear a bit (which is my weak point).
While we were eating i got her to talk about her plans and we had a nice conversation. Come to find out her mother and brother were gonna go with her and this guy to the play but her mother wasnt feeling well either. I used this oppurtunity to get her to go with me cause she still kinda wanted to go (it took a lot of convincing and trying but i eventually managed it).
I told her i would pay for everything (cause apparently the one guy doesnt always pay and that kind of irks her) and had to borrow the money from a friend to do it. Well we went to the play, and we both enjoyed it (it was a christian comedy, and the whole thing kinda played out like a service but the play itself was pretty funny). The whole time she let me put my arm around her so i kept it there in spite of the fact that my arm was hurting.
When we left i took her to a gas station and got us some cappuchinos and got her a honey bun. I made a crack and said "see you went the entire day and didnt pay a thing, i bought you breakfast, lunch, a snack, and paid for our date" she laughed and we went to her grandmothers to drop her off. On the way she told me that i was the first date that shes been on so far, to which i said that she was lame for leaving me and then making me the first date she goes one. She laughed and asked how many dates ive been on to which i replied none, she laughed and said i was just as lame and i said were just lame together and we both laughed.
We decided to take a detour to walmart so she could try to get some of the clearence perfume and a few toys for the kids. She was very interested in my opinion on the perfumes but none smelled very good so she didnt get any. We left and thats when she admitted that i could have tried something with her. When we got to her grandmothers i talked her into giving me a kiss (on the lips), she then asked me to come inside to help her get the kids to bed. I did and gave them baths, i asked her if she wanted me to go and she said i could stay and that she needed a bit of help cleaning up. So i did and when we were done i asked again and she said i didnt have to.
Well, i spent the rest of the time hanging out with her we watched tv and we didnt talk to much. I leaned on her cause she was bundled up and was warm, and she didnt push me away. She finally decided that she was ready to go to sleep and i got up to leave, she gave me a hug and i again talked her into giving me a kiss on the cheek. I also commented earlier that i kinda get tripped out when she slips and calls me hun or babe, she asked if that was bad and i said no it makes me smile and she smiled.
When i finally left it was almost 1 o clock, and it hit me that i was the happiest ive been in a while. So thoughts on how i handled this whole situation, maybe on how shes reacted to me, or how i reacted to her. Ill find any input helpful.
You're doing a lot of asking for kisses, and she seems less than enthusiastic. It's time you both took the Five Love Languages Survey on line, so you both know what you really crave.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
IMHO you seemed to be begging for approval from her. Asking her for kisses. Telling her how you can pay for things when the other guy can't, etc.
When she told you that she would have had sex with you if you pressed it is alot of game playing on her part. It's all a test. Let's face it, if they guy was free she would have gone out with him and not you. Even though he doesn't pay for things, she still goes out with him. Personally, I when she mentioned about the sex, I would have told her that I'm not interested in her game playing and she should be honest and say what she means.
You're pursuing big time by begging which is unattractive. You were happy because you got a temporary fix. What about today? What's going to happen when she goes out with the OM again? You're going to want her even more because you had that fix.
Start showing that you don't need her. Distance yourself. Show her that you are an assertive man who could live without her. Think about it this way. Act like you did when you two first dated. When you asked her out and didn't care if you got that second date or not.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Hmmm didnt know, i thought i was doing good. She contacted me again yesterday and admitted that she wanted to be here with me but didnt want to deal with any drama. I assured her there would be none and offered an idea and she was suprised at how well i knew her and said that she would have came but it had gotten too late to bring the kids out.
