You sound GREAT. You get it. This is what being detached is. You PREFER that you reconcile, but you KNOW you'll be okay either way. You've taken responsibility for your happiness and your life, and you expect your wife to do the same.

It was shortly after I reached this point myself that my H decided he wanted to reconcile. Of course he wasn't sleeping with the OW (he was infatuated with her, but she wasn't interested...she just strung him along for the attention), so my case is less extreme in some way. Still, the only way I know to come through the other side of this smarter, better, and happier (no matter the outcome) is to reach this point.

Stay the course, act with integrity, and don't accept less than what you want and deserve.

Happy holidays,

SD

Me: 40
H: 43
H had EA from 2/06-9/06
Bomb 5/06
Piecing since 9/2006
3/2008: Boundary setting
7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb.
8/2010: Marriage finally on track!