Hope it's not too late II

[sgctxok]

Validating does mean agree with her, it means make her feel heard and don't discount her by saying 'sorry you feel that way'.

When she talks, just listen, and try to get more of her feelings out of her, but don't take her feelings as fact or proof of future events.

Don't worry about your mistakes, move forward. You can't tell if it was a mistake to move out or if it would have been a mistake to stay. Use it to your advantage, use it to let her not be able to predict your every move. Use it to create mystery.

The emails you're sending that you know you shouldn't have the affect of confirming how she sees you. And I know it's hard not to put down in an email what you feel you need to say. Just don't send it to her. If you have to write it, send it to yourself. I did that years ago, too and that helped some. Look at it a day or two later. You will probably realize that you should not send it. If you still decide to do it, you will probably edit it and that will be a good thing. After you edit again, wait at least a few hours before sending.

I hope you find lots of joy today, find things that make you happy. Merry Christmas.