DB isn't just one thing. DB means changing your behavior, so even if you don't FEEL you were doing it or INTENTIONALLY doing DB, if you described the other 90% that you don't post (and most people don't really post all they are doing--it would take too much time anyway) it doesn't mean you weren't doing it.

But that's ok, whatever works for you.

You make a very very good point. Some people who are intentionally trying different DB 'techniques' feel they are being very fake because they aren't doing what was natural to them (what got them in this position in the first place)--and are just too stilted, so you either have to keep doing it until it flows (which is what I did) OR stop it and do something different, because, like your wife--your partner can usually tell. And they test you to see if your changes are for real. And if they aren't, it backfires.

Many folks go back to their old behaviors after their spouse comes back, and that backfires too.

So I'm glad you're having success.

Merry Christmas!

sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001