I see a lot of myself in your posts. You cannot change the things you've done wrong (I wish I could) but you can stop doing more things wrong.

Stop doing ANYTHING for her. I keeps you stuck in a pattern and enables/makes her choice easier.

The kids may open up to you more because they feel safer/at ease with you. Mine did (and do?). Par for the course.

I got the lion's share of the bills too.

Nice guys finish last.

But we finish.

"The answers are within you" (can't remember who). Unfortunately, so is the bullshit.