Thanks everyone for your "high fives" and Christmas wishes. I hope to have time to respond to your comments in the next few days.

Just wanted to give a brief update. .......Hadn't heard from XH since monday's TT game, but last night XH texted me about the Christmas card I helped his mother send him: "Hey.....Mom sent me a Xmas card!!! Who knew she was so resourceful!! Will drop off (my sister's) gift for you tomorrow late morning.....". I texted a reply this morning ("Your mom still has a few tricks up her sleeve.") and wrote that I would be home until 11AM because I had lunch plans. XH didn't see it, so I was on my way to the lunch when XH called on my cell. I cheerily answered by wishing him a Merry Christmas. He said he was 5 blocks from my house. I said that I was on my way to a lunch date and that I had texted him about my timeline this morning. He sounded surprised (probably surprised that I wasn't sitting at home --- GAG crosses her eyes) and said "Oh! I did't see that." He read the text message and then we decided he could leave the gifts in my garage. By that time he had arrived at my house and XH launched into a very friendly conversation on the phone telling me that I have ice dams starting on my roof (they can cause leaks in your roof) and that I would probably want to take care of them............That really surprised me because XH hasn't really shown much concern about my welfare since the bomb and this is the second time in a week that he has shown concern about me.........Interesting...............I told him thank you very much for looking at that. I've been wondering if I had ice dams.......We chatted for a bit, reconfirmed that I will visit his mother tomorrow at 1pm (interesting that many of you thought XH would plan to be at his mother's when I am there ---- I guess I'll have the answer tomorrow).

XH was still chatting in a friendly manner when I arrived at my destination and said "Hey, I'm sorry but I have to go. I've arrived at my destination." XH sounded surprised that I cut him off shocked and kind of sounded like he was searching for words. It was a bit amusing.........................I sense that the tide might be turning, but as we all know, MCLers' thoughts and emotions can turn on a dime.

Regardless, I am truly amazed at how far we have come in the last 2 years. Two years ago, H/XH was really angry with me, would not talk to me about anything other than splitting up our assets. He had me served 2 weeks after Christmas that year.....One year ago our D became final on December 2nd. A few weeks before that I had told XH that it was our choice whether or not the D became final and that we had the power to change that decision. I was so hurt by the D that I couldn't bring myself to be friendly with XH after it became final. I went pretty dim for several months.......This year our R is different from the past. I think that kissing XH on monday made an impression on him and it appears that he is not running away.

Tonight he will go to BMF's XW's house to have Christmas Eve with all of them. There is a TT table in the basement and he always plays TT with BMF's college aged sons. I suspect GF#2 will be with him there. I wonder if someone will accidentally let it slip that XH plays TT with me???????????

I have come to believe that in my situation XH needs to feel the old $exual chemistry for me before he will be drawn back to me. I came to think this after reading DavidA's post where he wrote: "We are sharing a bedroom but not a bed. Intimacy does not exist between us. ..........She says not to expect anything from her as far as a romantic relationship goes and that she may never feel that way about me again.".............Missher, I like what you wrote about showing XH that the door is open using nonverbal cues. I am planning a few things for XH over the coming weeks............. wink

.........Before I go.......yesterday a co-worker told me about her sister whose XH left her 8 years ago. They had a very rancorous D. Sister's XH is a D attorney and was very mean. Only paid $300/month for child support. He dated a series of women 20 years his junior, but after several years came back to his XW and started pursuing her again. They have been quietly having a R for the past year. This will be the first year that they attend all of the family get togethers as a couple again. The families are skeptical but they are watching and not meddling. The XH has asked his XW to marry him again. She doesn't want to M him now but they are enjoying one anothers' company..........I found it interesting that they could find their way back to one another even after such a vicious D........Reconciliation can happen even after that.

Well, it's about time to leave for Christmas Eve service. Merry Christmas everyone!

GAG