I'd like opinions on this exchange my H and D had yesterday while D and I were out shopping.
I'll set this up for you. I took D with me shopping yesterday morning. She texted her Dad mainly to find out what he was doing today as neither of us wanted to run into him and the ow if they happened to be out shopping, also. He told her he was shopping alone and did she want to come with him. She told him she was with me shopping at our local membership club.
So, we stopped at SC for some items. We got to the check out. I handed the cashier my card. She scanned it and told me it had been revoked. Huh? Then I understood. H had taken me off from the membership and hadn't bothered to let me know. I had to go stand in line to pay for a new membership. An extra expense I didn't need. Here's the text conversation that started between H and D while I was over setting up my own membership.
TEXT MESSAGE CONVO
D: Why didn’t u tell me when I told u I was at SC with mommy that u took her off the membership?? That would have been helpful information!
H: Listen Missy, I’m still your Father, WATCH YOUR MOUTH! That was 2 months ago so apparently she wasn’t using it much.
D: Don’t yell at me! U could have at least told her that’s not fair, yes you are my father, but you make it hard for me to respect you sometimes and it hurts
H: Don’t you think it hurts that no matter what I do for u kids u ALWAYS take her side? It’s ALWAYS my fault. Doesn’t matter that I was taken for granted all those years. NO!! It’s always on me. WHY, when we are no longer together would I renew hers? You respected me when I helped you get your car, pay your Insurance and bail you out for Christmas, but that doesn’t seem to matter. Don’t you think I have just a little bit more on my mind than a f-in SC membership?!?!
D: We appreciated u a whole lot more than u ever saw and I very much appreciate u now. Do I not thank you when u do something for me? I won’t ask any more if ur going to hold it against me and don’t worry as soon as I build enough credit to get u off my loan I will if that’s what you want. I’ll pay my own insurance and u’ll be rid of another kid. Congrats. (She's referring to S here that hasn't talked to his Dad since he left)
H: THAT is not what I am saying! I want to help u and I am NOT holding it against u. I just 4 once would like it if U stuck up 4 me. Instead of biotching at me about a stupid a$$ SC card.
D: What do u mean stick up for you?? Mom didn’t say anything she was just confused. I’m the one that got PO'd. She never says anything about anything you do. She doesn’t even know this fight is taking place. Why ruin her Christmas on top of my ruined one.
H: OH STOP IT!! LOL your xmas isn’t ruined. Just an adult discussion!
D did not bother to reply back to this last statement.
Does anyone have any opinions about why this went off the tracks like it did? IMO D's question didn't warrant H's anger.
Almost from the beginning I've treated H with respect and dignity. I haven't asked for anything unless it was kid related and that has been minimal.
Yes, there were times I took my H for granted, it was not for years though. I owned that and apologized to him and told him that even though we were no longer together I would never take him for granted again, and I haven't.
Why is it that after all this time H can't make the connection that the kids and I are even closer than before because he walked? We have been there for each other while he's been choosing the ow even over the kids at times. What does he expect?
