Your posts are like a salve to my wounds. Everything you say - I mean everything - always resonates with me. It's nice to know I have someone cheering me on who has experienced something similar and made it through to the other side.
Yes - the marriage we once had has ended. I'm in the process of mourning that loss. It's like I'm going straight through the fire - I'll come out purified on the other end but the process is painful.
I do need to conquer my fears and regain my respect. I took a huge step in moving toward that goal last night. My dad went through something similar with my mom so many years ago - he pursued, he begged, he pleaded, he left his self-respect at the door every day (hmm......like father, like daughter?!) And then one day, he woke up. He told me that I would know when it was time to let go and that I would not be afraid on that day.
H slept in another room last night - I didn't pursue him to come back to bed as usual. I woke up sad regarding our situation but I also woke up knowing I could let him go because right now he is not good for ME. Letting him go will benefit him too - but without a crystal ball, I can't project that in letting him go, he might come back.
So Missher - thank you again. You are an inspiration and I appreciate you!
M9+ T 11+ Me42 H44 2 kids under 5 IlYBNILWY -3/10 A discovered late 8/10 H moved out early 9/10 - back two weeks later "Taking a Break" - H moves out 1/2/10
