It is amazing how it works when you start to turn from them.....
But
The thing is the turning needs to be "done" for YOU and not to get him back.
We think we can hide the purpose for our actions but the purpose is the life blood of the words we speak and the actions we take.......your intentions will come shinning through your actions.
When you responded to your H's answer about the phone and explained that it was a "respect" thing, you were not coming across as pursuing or upset. You were more concerned about YOU and how YOU felt then how he was feeling towards YOU.
You are definitely "getting it" here in the words you write, and that is great!!!! I will tell you this........ it takes a LOOOOONNNNNGGGG time to make it a part of your "skin" as a good friend here likes to put it.
Your comment about hope......
Originally Posted By: barbsing1
But I'm afraid to lose all hope because if I do, then it really is over.
Let me twist that around a little......
I HOPE you are not AFRAID of the fact that your old marriage is OVER.
Never loose hope Barb.....
But
Think about what it is you are hoping for??????
Fear and being afraid......this is HUGE, and it is the main thing that has to be overcome in every situation and the thing is......
It takes TIME to overcome our FEARS
Fear
of a life without your H
that you will never be happy again
that your children will suffer
that you might lose your home
that he will come back and you have moved on....
Conquering your fears will open up a whole new world to you, it did for me. That is the peace and contentment that you read in my thread.
Stop HOPING that your marriage will not end.......it already has, at least way you and your H knew it. Once you accept that fact then there is no reason to FEAR it.....it has already happened.
When you realize this...I mean REALLY realize this you will start to feel yourself move forward and get back to the Barb you once were........
The Barb that would not allow this crap in her life. Love your husband enough to turn away from him and let him go while he is doing this.....he will thank you later.
It is Christmas......give yourself the gift that keeps on giving everyday for the rest of your life.....give yourself back SELF RESPECT.
I still love my W......always will and I am not talking about the cliche'....
"I will always love her b/c she is the mother of my children"
Sorry that is crap....I love her differently than that. I accept that but I will not be her "Plan B" or "C" or "D" or anything......
If and when she decides that I am the MOST IMPORTANT person in her life besides GOD.......then I will consider a relationship with her again. I respect myself too much to put myself in that situation again......EVER.
Merry Christmas....
Cheers!!!
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
