It has been two months to the day that bomb was dropped, and a miserable two months it's been. Don't mind me, I am just journaling a little.
I woke up this morning surprised at myself that I could harbor such intense disdain, hatred, contempt, whatever you want to call, it for another human being. Her meanness and unkindness toward me have taken its toll, and I am sorely tempted to immerse her in crisis, but now is not the time. W seems to be acting secure I will not exposure her to kids and friends, but little does she know that I am only human. The time will come and I will know it. She will face a crisis.
Little by little her infidelity and MLC fantasy plans will surely leak out and it wont take long I imagine. Some of our best friends already know, but act around her like all is normal. That's fine with me, but they're only human too.
The kids, well they will be in denial in spite of what they see happening, until somebody drops a bomb on them, but it wont be me. There's no way in hell, I will ever sit side by side with W explaining that we "agree" to D or S, no way. I intend to make it abundantly clear to them that I have never wanted a D, and it is she and only she who does. And the next time she wants to talk D, it'll be abundantly clear to W too.
Later on today I expect, my bitter feelings to subside as they usually do. I just hope I can control myself enough to continue DBing without a setback of one kind or another.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
