I understand what you are saying here and I will be careful in the future. Texting is the only communication we have anymore.
I decided to stand up for myself a bit and not be so soft, I already knew she was in the process of moving out of the house. I won't be seeing her and I won't be bringing up the OM at all; I didn't ask her to not see him, just stood my ground that it's my house too and he can't be in it.
I got home today and she has moved a lot of furniture out of the house and has packed a lot of my stuff. I feel that I need to discuss this with her because the furniture she moved out was both of ours. She also went ahead and gave one of the cats away and she took the dogs with her so I may or may not get to see them for a short time. I will "Act As If" Christmas is happy if I am around her family but truthfully, I can't be happy, but I'll only share that here.
I went ahead and got a coaching session this morning. Got some good advice that I am going to implement. I hope that I can get some more in a few weeks to tweak things. I have to look for a new job and go through bills and such to present to W. I see it as her choice to move out but she shouldn't have taken joint property and needs to pay half the credit card debt; if she wants to reserve the right to return to the house she needs to pay half the mortgage as well. I feel like I need to initiate these things to protect myself financially (because she has already been making unilateral decisions and taking paperwork), act like I am moving on and detaching, and to let her face the reality of going it alone but still having responsibilities that she can't just dump on me.
