Need advice and support to keep hope

[zengypsy]

My H filed for divorce and I still am holding out hope. People think I'm nuts but you have to go with what you feel is right for your situation. You can move on without giving up. I hope I am as lucky as Jack is.

i hate to say this but .. honey, hope is not a plan.

i don't know where your thread is and i don't know what you've done. but it is not the DB principle to hope. it's to take action.

Sometimes sadly, people have to go through the finality of divorce to have that true physical space to gain better clarity as to what they had.

is that what you are hoping for? that divorce is going to make him wake up to the reality of not having you around?

you can physically separate and use that time to make changes - do your 180s and GAL. it doesn't mean that a divorce has to happen before you do these things. you do them now.

i do wish you to be as lucky as J3B but i'm sure J3B did more than just hope. he took action.

Dumped - I honestly don't know where my thread is either. I've tried to post it twice and for some reason it just isn't anywhere. So, my full story isn't out there. Maybe I shouldn't post until the thread is posted because my responses will seem piece meal.

Having said that, I know DB is about taking action. I have made major changes since all ths has happend with the help of my phenom therapist. My actions now support my words. Accepting accoutability for your role in the breakdown of the M is very liberating and doing the work (GAL etc.) is even more liberating. My therapist has a very similar methodlogy like MWD. I have to review the 180 process again. My DB book is my "bible". It's pretty worn out from the amount of re-reads and dogearred pages. My H and and I have no contact; we have both gone dark.

Believe me, I don't want this D and my H is very clear in knowing that I don't want it. I've told him that I love him that much to let him go but I plan to keep the door open. His reponse was TY. He's adament about the D ging thru. I live in a no fault state, so when you are the defendant, you don't have a leg to stand on-even if there was an affair involved. I wish my state had stricter divorce laws. I have read over 20 books on fighting/saving your marriage. I am doing all I can and will continue to fight even after the fact. Moving on doesn't mean giving up and I am going to be the greener grass.