Well ED, I though about a note, but it just didnt seem like the right thing to do. So I asked her to lunch. She accepted and a quick lunch went from 1hr to 4 hours.
We talked about her job hunting, her plan for the next month or so, her going back to school and what she wanted in life.
She is so confused, she knows she doesnt want her life like it is. but she hasnt really done anything to improve it including put alot of effort into finding a job.
She doesnt have a plan for the next little while, she doesnt know what to do. She asked me what i wanted. so this is my reponse to her.
"I want you home and our family back together. Here are my reasons for that decision. Its whats best for our children. Its whats best for our family, Its whats best financially, and its what I feel is best for me."
Having just saying that, i used the last last resort method. I said.
"after we get through Christmas, i will not be offering my services to drive her to and from my house for her visits. I would allow her to have her visits at the house until she was situated but i wouldnt provide meals or transportation. I can not help her financially or pay for her and the kids food when she is staying at her friends place."
I was crystal clear that As long as she had a relationship with the OM and lived under his roof, I could not make myself available to her.
So i guess i laid it all out for her. Was this the right or wrong thing to do? I dont know, but something told me I had to do it. Now the tough part will be sticking to it.
