Kaboom

[girlfromipanema]

Consider seeing a marriage counselor. Tackling long term infidelity and working through the process takes a third party. If you had a broken bone would you fix it yourself or go to a doctor, a professional. All this has to be processed in time. Why not go to someone who has the tools to help you do it right? Seeing a third party will also increase the accountability of your spouse.

In the past, I brought up going to a marriage counselor and he refused, but I brought it up on Sunday and he was open to it, if that was one of my requirements. He said (not verbatim) "I've always hesitated to go because I knew they would see right through me." Or something in the same vein. I probably have that quote off a bit. When my adrenaline is flowing, it's hard for me to remember exact details.

This may sound harsh but you are the one who needs to change if you do not want to be subjected to continual pain. I did, over time, with the help of my counselor.

I did make a huge mistake by not continuing to see my IC after we reconciled. In hindsight, I know he would have been the perfect sounding board for any little red flags. I tried to get in to see him this week, but his schedule is pretty full. They'll call me if he has any cancellations (which happen often, so I'm sure I'll get to see him soon). I think he'll be able to provide some marriage counselor recommendations and I trust his opinion. He is a great counselor and he knows my situation and he has known me even prior to getting married. I can't bear the thought of seeing someone new and rehashing the whole sordid affair from the beginning. Too exhausting.

Thank you for your honesty. I consider you a valued and true friend. You know that, right??? xoxoxo