Hope it's not too late

[what next?]

I wish that she had found this site instead of me honestly. That's why I went ahead and sent her the link to Michelle's WAW video on youtube last night. I don't know if your husband's changes will stick but I know that for me, I am a completely different person than I was 6 months ago. This experience humbled me in a way that I never could have been any other way. Getting on meds for my anxiety at the same time was really helpful because my brain was physically changing at the same time that I was doing so much self reflection and trying to truly understand how I failed as a husband. My problem was that when my wife would bring stuff up she was talking largely about symptoms of the problem rather than what the real problems were. She never once mentioned the thought of leaving until Dday. Never once indicated that she was nearing that level of unhappiness. Now she is moving full speed ahead with divorce (she said last night that she hasn't been stalling but that the lawyer is taking a lot of time.) I just feel like everything that I do is wrong. When I give her space she seems to get farther away and when I try to talk to her she always pulls me into an argument. I want her to understand that it is my fault that we are where we are but at the same time if she doesn't learn to communicate then she will only end up in this same spot with her next relationship. I think that is what the WAW term refers to. I don't think that it is meant to be derogatory towards the wife it just means that once you reach your point of no return you walk away. The reason why you get to that point is largely the fault of the husband not understanding what is actually wrong until Dday. And I don't really think it's a "fault" but rather just the difference of perception between men and women.

How long have you been married? Do you have children?