What I was trying to say yesterday was that my opinion at the time was the DBing, with the intent of saving the marriage, wasn't very high on my list. You know I have always thought DBing was more about saving you.... and I know that you have been doing that all along!
I don't know how to make sense of it.... there doesn't seem to be a lot of sense in it. I think some time for reflection is a good idea, as long as it doesn't get obsessive, which I wouldn't expect. A little time almost ignoring it might not be awful, just to let you feel that your life is still good, and still going to get better. Again, I know you know it, but taking the time to feel it might not be a bad thing.
I really like that it is already clear that you don't tie your happiness to him. That's such a huge step, and so many struggle with it for so long!
